Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
