Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
