Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
