the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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