My first STD was from a foam party
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
