There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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