I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
