i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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