If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
do herpes really smell.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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