We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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