yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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