Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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