My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
they need to just BURY HIM!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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