Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
