i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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