just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
