Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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