return my video game
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
