Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
