Whod you bang
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
