escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
