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i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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