Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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