i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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