Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
The Olympian is in my bed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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