I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
