my soul wont recognize me after tonight
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
