woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
