After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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