yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
