a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
