Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize