I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
