I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
