Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
