Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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