you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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