I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Randomize
