she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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