hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
