Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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