She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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