He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
