I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
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