Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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