Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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