found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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