I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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