But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
