does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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