His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
