Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
did i walk over a car last night?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
