i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
