dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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