your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
