Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
