I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
