Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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