I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
