honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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