I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Is it penis luge time yet?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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