Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
