My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
