I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You've changed since you got that strap on
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
