It's Friday. Sex?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
